


Acceptance: How Penny became little

by PorcelainFlowers



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: ABDL, F/M, Gen, Infantilism, Non-Sexual Age Play, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:01:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22736089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PorcelainFlowers/pseuds/PorcelainFlowers
Summary: She needs another chance at a childhood and he needs to move past his
Relationships: Sheldon Cooper & Penny, Sheldon Cooper/Penny
Comments: 12
Kudos: 67





	Acceptance: How Penny became little

“Stop! We have to stop this Sheldon.” She’s freaking out. The panic in her chest clawing its way up her throat and she knows she’s about to retch.

“It’s okay, Penny.” He says in a soothing voice, the one he has been practicing in the mirror for months know. She wants to cry at the sound of it because it does calm her, against all odds, and that makes her anxiety shoot up again. She can’t do this. It’s- it’s-

“No it’s not! It’s wrong and weird and disgusting and- and- and-“

“And what you want, isn’t it?” He’s still so calm and looking at her with nothing but understanding that she can’t help but wonder when he became so human. The silence stretches on between them and she starts playing with her thumbs, not meeting his eyes as she stares at the floor. “Is this still what you want, Penny?” He asks her and she starts to sob, walking forward into his solid body and grasps at his shirt as she hides her face in his sternum. It’s only after she calms down she realizes she still saying ‘yes’ over and over again.

“Yes.” She whispers it one more time, still not moving away from him. She does want it. She has been wanting to do this for months now, ever since that first day. Ever since they had come to their arrangement. It’s what they had been working up to. Sheldon has been learning to be more human, more understanding and comforting, more affectionate, all for her. And she’s been learning how to let go of her vices, her habits and control, all for him.

“We’ll take it one step at a time.” He soothes a hand over her hair. She nods into his chest and after a brief second steps back away from him. Her hands tremble when she reaches down to the bands of her sleep shorts and slowly she moves them down trying not to look too ashamed when she stands in front of him with nothing but her Hello Kitty top on.

She watches and he swallows nervously, a blush rising on his face as he kneels in front of her. “Left leg first.” He says and she can hear him battle with himself as he tries to be there for her instead of screaming and running away.

She does as he says, raising her left leg, and balances herself by putting her hands on his shoulders. She can feel him slip it around her ankle.

“Now the right one, Penelope.” He’s choking it out, clearly on the verge of running but he’s still here and she’s about to have her another panic attack because he’s calling her that while they do this.

It takes almost another half minute but then she can feel the puffy cushion of it on her and he’s holding her in his arms and she starts crying again. She’s ashamed, humiliated, and happy. But he’s still there and she knows he’s trying so hard and that this isn’t just for her but for him too.

Because she needs another chance at a childhood, one where she was raised as a girl and not the boy her father had wanted. And he needs to move past his, learn to overcome his fears and stilted emotions.

* * *

_It starts as a way to shut him up. He’s being all haughty and condescending, and yeah she knows that those are his factory settings but she doesn’t enjoy being scolded like a two year old any more than the next person. Sure in hindsight she can see it’s because he cares and believes in her but she’s always been petulant after a mess up and doesn’t need this now, not after already feeling like a failure._

_“Sheldon, can we please just move past this.” She begs but he doesn’t let up, continuing on this tirade of his and she wants to slam herself on the floor and have a tantrum but she’s an adult and can’t out crazy Whack-a-doodle over there._

_“Penny.” He warns and she almost wilts. He’s still pacing in front of her, she’s been stuck on the couch ever since she got back._

_“It was one glass of wine, and you would have also needed it if you had been there.” Hell, she had felt she needed an entire bottle to get through the baby shower._

_“It’s not your choice of beverage that I don’t condone, Penny. It is that you insisted on driving afterwards without waiting for a proper amount of time to pass before being legally free of inebriation.” He levels her with a righteous look, like the one her father had given her a lot when she was a teen and making dumb mistakes like this in high school. She’s nearly in tears at the look alone and grabs her handbag looking for a tissue._

_He’s goes on about traffic laws as if there had never been an interruption from her and her hand snags on a piece of plastic in her purse. She glances at the small plastic bag holding a pacifier, they had each decorated one as a party activity._

_It’s there and in her hands and he’s still lecturing her and she doesn’t know why she didn’t just take this hit but instead she does something really stupid and silences Sheldon with the pacifier._

_To say he looked horrified would be an understatement, but the apartment is silent as he spits it out and runs to the bathroom to disinfect his mouth._

_She feels bad and knows this will only result in an additional lecture later on. For now though she picks up the pacifier and goes back to her apartment to crawl into bed and cry herself to sleep._

_Finally after too long her sobs have turned into sniffles and though she’s constantly yawning she can’t manage to sleep. She feels bad now for having shoved the pacifier into Sheldon’s mouth and she should probably apologize but she’s warm under her covers and is hesitant to move._

_She nearly does though from fright when there’s a soft knock on her bedroom door but even as exhausted as she is she can tell its Sheldon. She peeks at the door as it slowly swings open and he walks in with a mug. She frowns because she had been expecting him to come and lecture her, not give her tea. She watches as he sets it down and as if it causes him physical pain to sit down on her bed. They watch each other for a moment and then he sighs, “I’m sorry.” It almost looks like he chokes on the words in the effort to get them out. She wonders how little in his life he has actually apologized and why he is apologizing to her._

_“You don’t need to apologize.” She says after she realizes he isn’t going to say anything more. He’s being odder than normal she realizes. “I should be saying sorry to you.”_

* * *

She’ll admit, it’s a weird feeling wearing a diaper again. But here she is, snivelling in Sheldon’s arms, sitting on his lap in a diaper. They have the television on, it’s programmed to one of those kid shows Sheldon would call silly, but they’re watching it and she smiles every now and then. Over the past couple of months she’s come to realize she enjoys sitting on his lap. It’s comfortable. And he always wraps his arms around her waist as if he’s scared she’ll fall. It makes her feel warm and safe.

“Do you want your pacifier?” He asks and she realizes she’s sucking her thumb again. He hates it when she does it. The first time she did it he had a conniption about how unsanitary it is until she had started to cry.

“Yes, please.” She blushes, surreptitiously wiping her thumb off on her shirt. A moment later she has it in her mouth and sucks on it while her eyes droop. Sheldon really is quite comfortable.

* * *

_She’s sitting on her couch colouring in one of those therapeutic colouring books while sucking on a pacifier. It’s a new habit she picked up a week ago after Sheldon had made her tea and apologized. Anytime she’s alone in her apartment and doing something mindless the thing just seems to appear in her mouth. She doesn’t mind all that much, as long as no one knows and she hides the thing whenever someone comes over, besides it calms her a little._

_There’s a knock at her door but she knows she left it unlocked and she’s really focusing on her colouring so she doesn’t go over the lines, so she makes a sound so that whoever it is will come in but then there’s a shocked ‘Penny?’ and she looking at Sheldon with such shock just as he is looking at her. Neither of them seem to breathe but then Penny is sprinting into her bedroom to hide from her embarrassment._

* * *

The sun is too bright and she has to wonder why. Her bedroom is never this bright in the morning. She tries to roll over but she's stuck and she realizes she’s stuck in someone’s arms. Slowly she opens her eyes and relaxes when she sees its Sheldon below her on the couch in her living room. She can still feel the diaper on her bottom and blushes. Last night was the first time they had put her in a diaper. It had been a slow process for them both to get here but it’s what they had been working up to for months now. It almost seems silly now that she threw such a fuss about it last night but she knows if they had tried it any earlier she would have been scarred emotionally.

She wiggles a bit to burrow deeper into Sheldon and nearly laughs when she feels where his feet are. They’re dangling far past the edge of the couch indeed and she can’t help but remember the Tall man from Cornwall story he told her. She huffs a little laugh at that and regrets it immediately when she feels her bladder twinge with warning. Slowly she tries to roll off Sheldon but his arms are still locked around her, trapping her in and she really needs to go.

“Sheldon.” She whispers. He doesn’t respond so she knows he’s still asleep. She sighs knowing she’s going to have to wake him up or else urinate on him, and she doesn’t think that will go over well for either of them. “Sheldon.” She says again louder, wiggling against him to encourage him to wake up.

She has a brief flash of hope when he makes a noise but she can still feel his even breathing.

“Sheldon!” She screams.

He bolts up into a sitting position yelling ‘Danger!’ and takes her with him so that she’s straddling his lap. After a few more seconds he calms enough to look around blearily and then focuses on her.

“Sheldon, I need to go pee.” His face immediately sours as she puts that mental image into his head but he lets go of her and she scurries as fast as she can to the bathroom.

* * *

_“Sheldon, we need to talk.” She’s been avoiding him all week after he found her colouring the other day. “About what you walked in on.” She rushes it out before he can ask her to specify and he snaps his mouth shut. It’s the first time she’s seen him after that night. She hadn’t been able to work up the courage until now._

_“Very well.” He shuts his laptop gently and looks at her waiting._

_“You haven’t told anyone have you?” It’s not how she planned on starting this but it’s what came out first. She really hopes he has enough social skills to know not to have told anyone about it. If the guys already know, well she may just have to move._

_“No.” His answer is simple but it doesn’t quell the nausea in her. “I thought it better to wait till you were more comfortable about your predilections before informing whomever may need to know.”_

_“Thank you, that’s-” Wait does he think?_

_“In any regards it is not my place to pass judgement on your liking to, in layman terms, a Little state. Or so I believe my mother would inform me had I posed such a quandary.” With that opens his laptop again and goes back to work. She’s shaking, how dare he accuse her of- of- of that?_

_“Sheldon!”_

* * *

When she’s done and walking back into living room, he’s already busy making porridge for her, something they’ve taken to doing in the past. She had lobbied for sugary cereals originally but after about ten minutes into one of his lectures she had decided it just wasn’t worth it. Honestly if she didn’t know him as well as she did she might have thought he got off on it.

“Thanks.” She gives him a small smile when he places a bowl in front of her.

“Of course. Did you wash your hands?” She blushes and nods. It had been one of his terms from the start, proper hygiene. Thankfully he had only given her a practical demonstration. Water, soap, scrub anticlockwise, water, repeat for two minutes. “Good girl.” There’s joy in his eyes and she smiles pleased back at him.

“So what are you going to do today?” She asks in between bites.

“Seeing as it’s Saturday and I have no formal obligations, nor a set morning routine which must be adhered too and barring any pressing emergencies, I had considered whether you would want to continue this little episode?” She can feel her eyes go wide with excitement, she loved these times with him but so far they had been stolen moments every few days. In part because she didn’t want anyone else to know, and them suddenly spending all their time together would raise a few eyebrows, but also because of their busy schedules.

She nearly tackles him into a hug and she’s bouncing up and down from joy when it slips out, “Yes, yes please Daddy.”

* * *

_“Okay! So maybe I have a little thing for that!” Sheldon staring at her wide-eyed and afraid. She can’t really blame him though she did just corner him in his office at work, and she must look super-pissed._

_“Penny?” He says as if he can’t belief she’s real. “What are you doing here?”_

_“I need to talk to you about the thing you said the other day.”_

_“I have said many things over the past few days. I’m afraid you’ll-”_

_“About my liking a Little state, Sheldon!” She hisses as she can hear voices on the other side of the door._

_“Ah, I see.” He puts the cap back on the red marker before turning to her. “Honestly Penny, why does this concern me?”_

_“You’re the one that brought it up!” She hisses with a self-righteous anger in lieu of his calm, robotic demeanour._

* * *

Both their eyes go wide. She’d been calling him that in her head for a few weeks now but never out loud. He’s stammering out the start of something but she doesn’t hear it as she disappears into her room, feeling a familiar burn in her eyes as she slams and sags against the door. Bringing her knees up to her chest, she hits her head against the door a few times muttering, “stupid.”

* * *

_She creeps in to the guys’ apartment, fully expecting them to be engrossed in whatever it is they’re doing but finds it near empty. No one except for Sheldon. She sighs in relief. “Hey.” She smiles brightly at him and goes to sit on his right on the couch._

_“Hello.” He responds amicably, his eyes never leaving the game he’s playing on his laptop._

_She turns her head to check one last time, “So where are the guys?”_

_“They have elected to spend this Anything-Can-Happen-Thursday trolling local watering-hole establishments in the futile attempt to achieve coitus as a misunderstood attempt to reach a level of emotional intimacy.”_

_“Oh, okay.” She pats her legs to get rid of her nerves. A few breathes in and then out. “Can we talk?”_

_“Dear Lord.” He sighs and shuts his laptop. Turning to look at her, “Penny, had I incorrectly assumed that we had finished this topic in my office?” The expectant look on his face makes her shrink a little._

_“No.” It’s meek by any standard. “I- I wanted to ask you a favour.”_

_“Why me?” She’s surprised he already knows what she wants to ask._

_“You’re the only one that knows.”_

_“Technically you also know.” He says and she rolls her eyes. Of course when she’s doing something so embarrassing like this he’ll still have the emotional comprehension of a bag of hammers. “Furthermore, neither of us know anything about the roles you are assigning should we engage in this.”_

_“I know okay, I just thought- You always learn things so quickly and it’s not like I can ask the guys. Raj can’t even speak to me unless drunker than a sailor at land, Leonard is sweet but he won’t understand and Howard- just yuck, no.” She looks at him with the biggest, saddest eyes she can manage and sees his eye start to twitch. “Please Sheldon, you’re the only one I can trust with this- with me.” He’s nearing breaking point but she can still see him want to say no. “I’ll let you make a contract for it.” She knows she won now._

_“This is not going to be easy for either of us. You understand that, don’t you?” He sighs when she squeals and hugs him._

* * *

He knocks on her door. She’s still leaning against it, sobbing her little stupid heart out. “Penny, please open the door.” She shakes her head and curses herself for being stupid again. He sighs and the door bumps her a little when he settles against it on the other side. “We should really discuss what just happened.”

She wants to tell him to go away, to leave her alone so that this shame of hers can just die already. She wants him to forget about these past few months or at least to pretend he did. She wants him to forgive her for making it weird. Mostly she just wants him to hug her and tell her that it’s going to be okay.

“Penny, please say something.” She doesn’t and after a much too long he stands and leaves her alone. He’s still in her apartment, she can hear him pace and mutter to himself. Her cheeks have dried by now and it seems he has lost his patience.

“I have given you more than enough time young lady. Penelope you open this door immediately.” He doesn’t say she’ll be punished if she does but she thinks he might consider it. Finally she gets up, spurred on by him calling her that, and unlocks it.

When she opens it he pulls her into a hug. “No more running away.” He whispers to her and she sags against him, holding as tight as she can. She would cry again if she had anymore tears left.

“I’m sorry.” She buries further into his embrace, into the comfort he’s giving her.

“Don’t apologize. You are my charge and I am your caregiver. You allowed to call me whatever you want.” She wants to see his face to know if he actually means it but she’s too comfortable in this hug of theirs.

“Even if it is Daddy?” She wants to laugh because it sounds so wrong to call him that but that is what he is to her.

“I have come to accept it, Penelope.”

**-END-**

* * *

“Penelope, bath time.” He claps his hand together as he enters the living room again. She’s watching one of her favourite shows from the floor, toys scattered around her and an empty bottle of what used to be warm milk next to her. She waves him off and he sighs, he knew he shouldn’t have put on the damned television in the first place. She got too clingy to it during her shows. He grabs the remote from where he left it and pauses the show.

“No!” She whines and pouts at him. “Please, just wanna finish my show. Please Daddy.”

“Penelope.” He uses his warning voice. It was one of the few that was easier for him to perfect during the early start of their partnership.

“No!” She puffing her cheeks out and crossing her arms and he knows he’s not going to win using his words. Which used to be an odd thought for him but Penny in her little state is even more stubborn than when she’s grown up.

“Come on.” He says as he takes one of her feet and starts to drag her to the bedroom. He can’t lift her up but this is the next best thing. Expectantly she tries to scurry away but he still has her leg and drags with everything he has. Penny giggles at him and grabs onto the couch to stop him but he tugs until she has to let go, even if the couch is skew now.

There almost to the bedroom when she asks him with innocence in her eyes, “Duckies in bath?” He nods and she squeals now trying to get to the bathroom so she can go splash with her duckies. He can already hear her speaking to the rubber ducks by the time he’s managed to catch his breath and start sweating less. He’ll need to shower after she had her bath.

But even with his limited emotional understanding he recognises the feeling of contentment he feels as he listens to her howls of delight.

* * *

“Penny, are you okay?” He sighs, not good enough. “Penny, are you okay?” This time he makes the intonation a bit softer and it surprisingly sounds better. It’s not perfect yet but there is a distinct increase in quality of comfort. He scratches the corresponding information onto his rubric sheet before he decides to move on to the next one.

“Penelope, I will not ask again.” He might be considered egotistical but even he knows that was a perfect first try. He’s just about to write down the unmitigated success his ‘warning’ voice is when there is a knock on the door. It has to be Penny he knows because the rest of the group is off on an illogical tryst to seduce a sponsor for the physics department.

“Come in.” He says and immediately a blonde head pokes in with a bright smile. Normally he would be opposed at anyone but him being in his room but he had made it a stipulation in the Caregiver contract that Penny may have limited access to his room provided it met the requirements.

“Hi Sheldon!” She squeaks happily.

“And what has brought on this fine mood?” He questions as he writes down the previous information.

“I saw the guys were out.” And to his ear it sounds as though she wants him to realise something but for the life of him what correlation it is he should to draw between them being gone and her sudden bout of joy, he doesn’t know.

“Yes.” He says simply.

“I was wondering if maybe we could… you know…” She’s biting her lip and looking down which he has recently revised as signs of embarrassment. He sighs when she doesn’t continue.

“Penny, while I am not unamenable to a challenge shall we as the common rabble say, cut straight to the chase.” She groans at him and now he’s wondering what he could have done to illicit such a reaction.

“Could we- you know- have some little time together?”

“Oh.” He says as it dawns on him. He had wanted to draw a correlation when he should have made a conclusion. “Very well.”

* * *

He needs to get to the hospital he decides. Surely he must have a growth on his limbic system that caused this unprecedented bout of emotional excess.

“I can’t believe you would do that Sheldon!” Penny is yelling at him, lecturing him in his perceived wrong doings. Naturally he will remember every word she says but at the moment he’s more focused on scanning the last three months for any other odd displays that will prove his theory that he needs medical intervention. “What possessed you on doing something so stupid?”

That caught his attention. Many things could be said about him and many of them would be correct, but the assumption that he has ever done anything remotely asinine is absurd. It’s frankly insulting.

“Penny, must we go through this again. Everyone knows how it will end if you start another attempt at a relationship with Leonard.”

“No, Sheldon! No one knows anything! We could actually work this time!”

“Hardly.”

“And what the hell? Did you have to threaten him?” He is ashamed of that. He’s never been one to rely on the body to prove superiority, much rather preferring the mind. Still there had been some sick satisfaction when he had grabbed Leonard by the lapels and held him to a wall, threatening him. Another reason added to the list of possible side-effects.

“He’s going to hurt you again.” At that Penny freezes because he had used one of the voices he had practiced.

“Maybe,” She sighs out, “But then it’s my decision, Sheldon. Okay?” All her previous bluster is gone and she slumps next to him on the couch.

“Very well. Might I ask a favour?”

She lets out a groan but nods at him anyways.

“I have deemed it necessary to go to the hospital. I believe I might have a tumour. Will you drive me?”

Instead of getting an answer he watches as she screams into a pillow in frustration.

* * *

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing.


End file.
